Killing Bambi.
Overblown story of the week.So, an old lady beat a fawn to death with a shovel. She did this either because she was frightened (her story) or it was eating her flowers (her nosy neighbor’s story). She is in trouble because, for some reason, it is illegal to kill animals in your yard. Another great example of the wussification of America.
But it does not end there. No, now she’s being prosecuted because she’s BLACK! Wait, I hear you say, where did that come from. Well, out from the primordial ooze that is Cuyahoga county comes… George Forbes. Lovely. Will the person that allowed him out please take him back? Please? Just tell him that someone is looking to “donate” and he’ll be in there before you can say “running race hustler, running free”. I guess that we should be thankful that Cleveland’s Al Sharpton causes fewer riots, accepts lower sums and doesn’t run for president.
But it doesn’t end there! NO! The News-Herald story on this has an interview with the director of the League of Humane Voters in Ohio. You know, those voters that differentiate themselves from the rest of us by being humane. To animals. They LOHV animals. For that annoying acronym bending they deserve to be beaten with a shovel (I think I know a woman for the job) but they add to their annoying power by saying this like the following:
“We have to speak for the animals, because they can’t speak for themselves”
These fools must be stopped. I fully expect this story not to end until they’ve figured out how to bring in the shovel manufacturer for insufficient morality safeguards on its product. And something with mimes. Definitely mimes.
Doomed, doomed, we are.
Oh my fucking god, that poster is beautiful. Can I get that 3′X5′ and I’ll hang it in my office right next to the Chronicle of Higher Ed cover of Churchill. You’ve seen it, you know it’s true.