Hobart, Tasmania – Recent scholarship has unearthed the letters and early photographs of early Australian fashionista Bill Thompson. These new findings have turned on its head the normally heald concept that Tasmania in the nineteenth century was peopled only by the island’s famous devils and the scheming ancestors of Marvin Hamlish.

Thompson plied his trade in Australia as a consultant to the most influential prisoners of the day. His use of gold-colored chain changed the long-held preference for the color of blood splatter. This revolution in design sparked off an arms race that lead to the 1890′s fad of overly large chains, some as big as a draft horse (when adjusted for inflation, naturally).

Historians, however, are most overjoyed at the finding of Thompson’s writings, which are numerous. He regularly corresponded with the pinnacle of Australian society. Unfortunately, since all Australians of that age were named Yahoo Serious, putting these letters in context has remained a difficulty. But his penmanship is breathtaking.

Today we can see Thompson’s influence in the elfin beards of bluegrass musicians and pedophiles alike. Chains worn jauntily from the waist are sported by rafts of PBR swilling hipsters, their mother’s credit cards safely secured in their fashionable wallets. Lady Gaga herself said it best when she was overheard commenting “Neck weasels and birkenstocks.”

Indeed.