Yesterday's dinner was the hottest food I have ever eaten. I really wish to emphasize this. This was the hottest food I have ever eaten. Ever eaten. Hottest. Yes. It has been 17 hours yet I can still feel its burn. Hot. Years ago, when the Cleveland weather would descend into the season of malevolent gray, [...]
May 31, 2009
Today’s paper annoyed me so I thought I’d write a crank letter to them. They are pretty good about such things. I’ll post if anything else comes of this. I just wanted to pass on a brief note concerning the quality of the News-Herald. Firstly, I want you to succeed. I believe firmly that the local [...]
February 12, 2009
This Wednesday’s Achewood is yet another showing of Onstad’s recent spate of diminishing returns. Yes! More skewering of the pomposity of food culture! My, I have not seen that… more than a dozen times in the past couple months. Joy! These previously finely crafted characters have not been liberated from their well worn ruts in [...]
February 6, 2009
The first time you are provided the opportunity to scar your child for life--outside of when you are sharing breathing and eating functions--is when you give your child a name. This is an important entrance for your child into life and society as a whole. It should be a time to start his link to the past and be a glimpse of your aspirations for his future.
March 15, 2008
Posted elsewhere Saturday, March 15, 2008 Behold the latest in my local crank output! I just sent this silliness into the News-Herald as a response to their terribly annoying editorial today. 300 words is awfully tight but here is how it goes: In your Saturday, March 15th editorial you issued a “Brickbat” to U.S. District Judge Walton [...]
December 1, 2007
Originally written in December 2007 So, I’ve written many letters to Autoweek complaining about all matter of idiocy and they have never published me. This time I put in a fucking pun and the not only publish me but I got the highlighted letter of the week with the accompanying car picture. Sigh. And the letter: Your criticism [...]
January 2, 2010